Eurovision 2014 Through the Eyes of the Uninitiated

Living as far away from Europe as one can get without settling on the moon, I've always thought Eurovision was some 'Europe's Got Talent' show with some needlessly convoluted voting system and the winner usually had the craziest costume and did something odd - like throw glitter around or scream into the mic for no reason. I often wondered why we never had an 'Oceania's Got Talent' so our talented person would face off against Europe, Asia, the Americas and Middle East for the 'World's Most Talented Tosser' trophy.

These look like a couple of candidates for
'World's Most Talented Tosser'

Still, I never actually sat down and watched it. Finally, this year I decided to see what the hell the fuss was all about.

What did I learn? I learnt people actually took the competition seriously - lots and lots of them. I learnt I actually liked quite a few of the songs. Some had messages of harmony, love and friendship, others sang of heartbreak or loneliness, others sang about baked goods. Some were in other languages with universal emotion so all ears were pulled along for the ride. Some completely lost me but I'm sure there are others out there that loved them. In other words 'Something for everyone'!

I'll list a few songs and what they did right. I've specifically chosen songs I personally like so sod the European voters. Order of preference is as follows:

1. Iceland's 'No Prejudice' by Pollapönk

Arnar Þór Gíslason on drums and
Heiðar Örn Kristjánsson on drums

This is the song that made me want to watch Eurovision. I saw a highlight reel on YouTube and somewhere in the middle was an explosion of colour and fun - I had to find out what it was. Pollapönk is a kids' punk band from Iceland: a quartet of musicians with various lengths of facial hair; each with their own iconic colour. Their song (originally performed as 'Enga Fordóma' in Icelandic for the selection process) is catchy, colourful, happy and infectious. More importantly the message of the song about universal acceptance and tolerance is openly embraced by the group on and off the stage. They stand by the words they sing giving the song a mission. Every press conference, every interview, every impromptu performance, they promote no prejudice. As someone who was bullied a good portion of my life I wanted to cry and hug them. I ended up finding their CD 'Besta Pollapönkið' via Hagkaup and heard more of their stuff. Seriously, they're cooler than the Wiggles and this is coming from an Australian. Pollapönk's Facebook page has become bilingual to take into account the massive number of non-Icelandic fans who have since fallen head-over-heels in love with this band. Ást!

The Colours!! Pollapönk in action spreading the love.

2. Montenegro's 'Moj Svijet' by Sergej Ćetković
In case you can't guess from the title this song is not in English. When I first saw it performed in the Semifinal I immediately ranked it high in my list of favourites. It could be the emotion of Sergej Ćetković - he takes you by the hand and pulls you along for the ride. I don't know a word he's saying except 'Moj Svijet' which means 'My Love', but it doesn't take away the power this song has. I'm so glad it made the final because I really wanted to hear it again. I ended up finding more of his music and got one of his albums. If you like Josh Groban this is his Montenegrin counterpart. He's a true vocal artist, leading us into his world through his music and warm smile. Bravo Sergej.

Sergej Ćetković singing his heart out and loving it.

3. Switzerland's 'Hunter of Stars' by Sebalter
I'm not sure if it's Seb Alter or Sebalter, I've seen it written both ways. This song is a lively one that I can't tell if it's meant to be serious. The lyrics say 'yes', the banjo says 'no'. Then there's Sebalter's sly grin and energetic saunter that makes walking across the stage the most fascinating human action since the moon landing. And like most Swiss things he's multi-talented, serenading us with whistling, violin and drumming. And dominoes. If you're not won over by the end you have no soul.

Most interesting traverse to a drum ever seen.

4. Slovenia's 'Round and Round' by Tinkara Kovač
At first I found Tinkara Kovač's appearance a little Disney Villainesque in the Semifinal. But as the song wore on her singing ability and showmanship (despite a rather restricting gown) came across quite strongly. She was someone genuinely loving her song. A passionate and skilled flautist (which is demonstrated throughout), she is a double-threat with an amazing voice. This number is a little grunge and pop and altogether empowering female ballad. It's sung in both Slovene and English with a smooth flute solo between. I wish more songs were like this so they come across universally with none of the nation's language neglected in the push for votes. 

Disney villainess Tinkara Kovač winning us over in two languages.

5. Malta's 'Coming Home' by Firelight
This song hit me right from the beginning. Maybe it's the acoustic instruments. Maybe it's the upright piano carted onstage. It could even be the video clip to this song dealing with returning soldiers. It's a theme that definitely hits home. I did like their choice of using photographs as their backdrop rather than flashy lights or effects - it is a simple song staged simply and it stays with you long after the music ends. From the first listen the song feels like meeting a new friend serendipitously. By the fifth it's an old friend sharing a cup of tea and an old yarn.

If I came home to this I'd be blissfully happy.

6. Georgia's 'Three Minutes to Earth' by The Shin and Mariko
I don't get jazz. This might be jazz. Or folk. I'm not sure. It's syncopated and unpredictable which can be cruel to someone used to formulaic modern pop. That said, over time I've warmed to this song. The harmonies work, Mariko's voice suits the feel of the tune and the organic sound is very much the kind of thing you'd see at a WOMAD festival. I enjoyed it because it stood out so much from the myriads of electronica before it. It took a few listens to appreciate this song but there's some magic woven in amongst all the different layers. Mariko even reminds me of a poster my closeted-hippy dad has of Janis Joplin.

Mariko dancing much like Janis Joplin.

7. Israel's 'Same Heart' by Mei Finegold
Okay, I won't go into geographical details about where 'Europe' is in relation to the Middle East. I really do appreciate Mei's voice. She sings deeper than the usual female vocal range but she is comfortable in a lower register and pulls it off stunningly. She has power in her pipes that transitions smoothly into Hebrew for the second half. Another bilingual female ballad that kicks butt.

Mei Finegold and her backing dancers owning the stage.

Honourable mentions also go to: 

Italy's 'La Mia Cittia' by Emma Marrone. Sung in Italian. Every nightclub not playing this is missing the life of the party.

Norway's 'Silent Storm' by Carl Espen. True to its title there's something bubbling beneath the surface but Carl Espen understates it perfectly.

Lithuania's 'Attention' by Vilija Matačiūnaitė. Vilija Matačiūnaitė's vocals power through the  techno. It's like the TRON: Legacy soundtrack sung live.

Some of these did well, some didn't. All have earned a special place in my music collection. I might give Eurovision another go next year. If it's as good as these songs it'll be a joy to observe (as a guilty pleasure, unbeknown to my family and friends of course).